I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
