The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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