I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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