So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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