it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
