billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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