I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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