So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
