Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
