Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
