It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
