i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
