soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
