so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
