I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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