Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
