I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
