LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
