i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
