when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
