I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize