I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
