I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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