Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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