i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
