when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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