sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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