how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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