Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
