even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
