We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
