my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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