Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
