Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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