my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
