No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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