Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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