I feel like I'm in dance class right now
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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