and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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