my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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