he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Two words: blizzard sex
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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