Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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