yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize