Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
