Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
