there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
