are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
pop tarts are not kleenex
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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