I just cut my nipple shaving
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
