I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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