That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
