Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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