Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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