I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you would pick up someone in the library
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
