How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
