no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
