p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
