we're chasing vodka with high fives
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I believe in your delicious
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
