They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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