Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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