i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
