Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
